1. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

The don’t meet the koalafications.

2. What do you call bears with no ears?


3. As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

But hay, it’s in my jeans.

4. I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.

Then it dawned on me.

5. I told my friend 10 jokes to get him to laugh.

Sadly, no pun in 10 did.

6. I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday.

Not only is it terrible, it’s terrible.

7. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the “P” is silent!

8. My roommate told me my clothes look gay.

I was like, don’t be a dick dude; they just came out of the closet.

9. How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

10. Knock Knock.

Who’s There?


To Who?

It’s To Whom.

11. My grandfather died peacefully, in his sleep…

…not screaming like the passengers in his car.

12. What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells.


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