all of a sudden, i don’t know who to trust, who i can pour my heart to. everyone around seemed to be caring only for themselves (including me?).

families and friends. doesn’t seemed like one i could depend on either.

i can’t tell who is portraying their real self.

the world is weird. i am weird.

let’s take the whole lky’s passing for instance. all the eulogies delivered on social medias. idk why. but to me, it felt like they are posted just to garner likes, comments, and attention.

disclaimer: i’ve nothing against anyone. just emo’ing and feel like ranting rubbish now.

medias are just emphasizing on the goods during this period.
not like i am saying they should report the bads, just that everything seemed to be nicely packaged. it just feels weird.
jumping queues, littering etc are just deliberately filtered away. but if it was to be during other occasions, such actions will definitely be enlarged.
if singaporeans were to be queuing up for free gifts, they will just be labeled as kiasu.
but when singaporeans queued up overnight to pay respect, it’s just because they really are honoring him. why can’t they view those who are queuing up for free gifts as those who really liked that particular item?

i hate it when mom always says i say this kind of thing because i think i 讀很多書,自以為很厲害. i never have such thoughts please. i am just voicing out my inner feelings. voicing out my uncertainties. and u never have such thoughts please. you always say i never study. contradicting much.

i am hating a lot of things now.
i hate it when mom forced me to go for tuitions.
i hate it when mom complains about sis when she herself is the one who allowed all the nonsensical stuffs sis did.
i hate it when sis nags me not to drink bbt when she herself is the one who is drinking a lot more.
i hate it when sis nags me not to waste money when she herself is the one who is wasting a lot more.
i hate it when sis nags me not to treat others when she herself is the one who is treating a lot more.
i hate it when they scold me for being bad tempered when they themselves are the ones who made me bottled up all my frustrations.
i hate it that nobody understands me.
i hate it when people tried instilling their thoughts into mine, determining what job i should take up, what i should eat, what i should wear, how i should behave, how i should manage my expenses, what i should believe in religiously. (why cant i live my own life, the way i want, it’s mine, not yours. and i’m 25, not 15. sometimes i wish i can have a house of my own, living the way i want it to be.)
i hate to be born in this family.
i hate this dark side of mine.

is it me against the world, or the world seemed to be against me. idk la. i am just purely disappointed in humanity, for whatever reasons i dunchknow. just feeling emo all of a sudden.

整個世界像是黑色似的, 沒有顏色, 沒有聲音, 沒有溫度,只有自己。



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